Wow! I went from posting once each week to being lucky to post once a month! In following my last post, Healing is a Process I am blessed to inform you of what God has done in the past month.
I believe it is in our seasons of pain – when we have been hurt – or when past hurts bubble to the surface, that we most deeply call out to our Father. Last month, I begged Him to see a new wave of healing; a new display of His power in my life. James tells us when we ask things of God – to believe and not doubt. So, I did.
In the last month I have continued to remain in awe of how God continues to pick up the pieces that remain of my tattered heart and put them back together better than they were before. My Bible class worked through Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God earlier this semester. He encouraged us that when we don’t feel as if God is at work in our own life, to look around and see where He is moving in other’s. I pray this encourages you to know that God IS at work… even if you don’t perceive it in your own situation yet.
En route to our next venue destination, we made an afternoon pit stop in the city that was to be my home. I have dealt with our hometown and the city in which we went to college, but I refused to ever return to where he was – where our home was going to be. Apparently, God laughed. Surrounded by my road team, we headed in on the same highway I traveled many times. Tears welled in my eyes as we drove past familiar restaurants, movie theaters, and the signs pointing to his school…
Then we arrived at the mall we frequented. I was determined to stay in the van to avoid dealing with the memories. Thankfully, Kelci pulled me out – together we went to the store in which I shopped for my wedding shoes. We made a new memory there. After half-an-hour of looking over my shoulder, I began to relax and feel comfortable. We laughed – I conquered. I encourage you to face whatever stronghold remains. Go in, hold your head up high and thank God for His rescue – for His redemptive grace in your life.
Upon returning to State College, planning for the Get Lost book launch party took up much of my time. An added bonus, my Mommy got to come visit me for Mother’s Day – thanks Daddy! We spent a precious week together. I am beginning to realize just how blessed I am to have the friendship with my Mom that I do. Many girls can not say the same. She attended the book launch party with me! Dannah spoke and I gave my testimony which appears in the book. Driving through the familiar city and dealing with memories, there was a rawness that I haven’t experienced before while sharing my story. A transparency almost; I allowed myself to feel. The result was healing for me and an encouragement of God’s grace for the 100 people in attendance. The night was a beautiful success – having Mom’s face in the audience was just icing on the cake.
The party over and Mom on a plane back to NM, I focused my attention on prom. Teaching at Grace Prep has been one of my favorite things this year! Planning and organizing prom was right up my ally. I have learned so much as a result of teaching. Girls, you are a blessing to my life! We ate more cotton candy than one could imagine and danced the night away! Chaperone Heather and DJ Blake had just as much fun as the kids did!
In the midst of all this, I have been offered a contract with the ministry and am buying a house! The cost of living out here is still overwhelming, but the Lord saw my need and provided more than I could have imagined. It has been a scary process to do on my own! Some of you recall that when my ex-fiancé and I found a house, we drove up to see a rainbow over it (no joke!) When I received the home inspection in my inbox, I opened it to view the report. The photo of the front of my house had a ray of light passing though it that, on the inspector’s camera, created a vibrant rainbow in the bottom corner of the photograph… Isn’t God awesome at redemption? Kelci and I will be moving in by the middle of June and Jackson puppy will be joining us shortly! (My little sisters think they are moving in too!)
There is no profound spiritual truth in this blog – just a testimony. Simple gratitude toward my Savior. One year ago I was lying on the floor of my parent’s bedroom in the fetal position wondering how life would ever go on. That may be where you find yourself today. My report is not to gloat, but rather to encourage you and give you hope. Believe that God can take your fragile heart, broken relationship, financial crisis, health scare… and in one year create more than you ever thought possible. I am living Ephesians 3:20 – He is doing more than I can ask, think, hope or imagine!
Beauty comes from ashes. Pearls come from pain. May my story encourage you to hang on… it comes. It comes much faster when we cooperate! When we offer up our hurt to the throne room of God – where He has access to our heart and our situation. If you want to hang on to it, you can. Just don’t expect healing to flow quickly if you are not ready to go to the Doctor for help.
I love all of you so much and am thankful for your prayers, support and financial provision. I couldn’t do this without you!