Stuck on a Rock

This week I had the privilege of attending Extreme Grace – the back to school retreat of Grace Prep High School (Bob & Dannah Gresh founded). They needed an extra female sponsor and I fit the bill!

A three-hour bus ride, multiple random and disgusting games (including a cow tongue), hiking, junk food and playing in a creek led up to our culminating activity: white water rafting!

This was a new experience for me – I am an adventure person so I was thrilled at the opportunity. However. The outside temperature read 64 degrees… the water temperature posted on the adventure board was an inviting 62. My excitement drained. I hate being cold!

Yes, I invested in a very expensive, waterproof jacket for this very reason. May I just say, it was worth every cent! The boat I was in had so much fun and no serious issues. We ran most of the class 4 rapids with ease…well, they did. I held on to the side of the boat for dear life! I wasn't much help! When it came time to brace for a rapid, the guide would yell, "All in - Forward!" This meant all of us had to immediately throw in our paddles and put some muscle behind it to power the boat ahead. Momentum helped us avoid being caught up on obstacles.

Towards the end of our trip, we were coming up on a rapid called the “Rock Garden.” It was a series of countless rocks ranging in size creating a very tricky path through the obstacles. We were about halfway through when our boat ran up on a fairly large rock and got stuck. The water was raging around us as we tried to shift our weight and push off the rock… it turned into a five-minute rescue mission.

Here in lies my spiritual lesson of the week: What are the words, situations or circumstances in your life that have ran your boat up on a rock and left you stranded with raging rapids all around? 

Each night of the retreat we sang “With One Word” by Shane and Shane. The song was written as a result of one family member being diagnosed with a serious illness. Often there are words in our life that are capable of running our ship aground; they can change the past as well as the future. The song points us back to the one, powerful word of the name JESUS. Often we forget how transforming that name is.

Words that have ran my boat up on a rock: Cancer. Died. I don’t love you. Your hip will interfere with my active lifestyle. War. Get over it. You’re not good enough…. As I share my own, I am sure you have thought of a list of words that have not only altered the past as you knew it, but the future too. These words are powerful and have the ability to drain the air from your lungs as well as the hope from your heart. These are the words that can run you up on a rock in the middle of a rapid.

Truth be told, we were stuck on the rock for quite a while and I was beginning to get concerned. All seven of us in the boat tried to shift our weight; we tried jumping up and down; we tried pushing with our paddles… finally, some of the men in the boat sat along the side as we held on to their life jackets and pushed off. It was messy and took some time but finally we were free to bounce down the rest of the rapid.

        When words or situations in life run you up on a rock, you have two options:

 1.  Stay there – you will eventually die due to a lack of food and water.

 2.  MOVE! – It will take work, it may hurt, and there will still be rapids ahead but you can choose to get unstuck.

Personally, I prefer option #2 but you may have other opinions…

Our Christian walk is much like bounding down a river full of rapids. At times the water will be glassy and still and other times are full of waterfalls and rocks big enough to knock you out of the boat. Of course there are situations in life that have the potential of causing us to become stuck on them, yet God gives us the choice to linger there or to fight forward.

The last six months for me have been a slow and steady fight forward; I don’t want to die on the rock. You can cry all you want, yell for help, pout… but ultimately, the only one who can help you get off the rock is yourself.

Many other boats passed us as we were held captive by the large rock. They themselves were trying to navigate safely through the rapids. Stopping to help us was not only dangerous, but nearly impossible.

If you are crying on a rock – A. you look like a blubbering, beached whale. B. you have the power to do something about it. Through the grace and strength provided by our Heavenly Father, we can move forward.

Do I still hurt? Absolutely. Are there still days when I want to give up and just sit in the boat and cry? More than you know. Whatever your “rock,” it is ok to get hung up on it for a moment. Say a prayer; gather your strength and fight to push forward.

God has not designed you to fail or to become a rock ornament. You are a navigator! An excellent sportsman of life! An adventure person! A trailblazer!

Through His love, He gives you the Grace to move forward. Nothing can separate us from Him unless we allow it. Take your faith and get your leg out of the boat and push off as you scream the all-powerful name of JESUS! The supernatural strength He provides is sure to leave you in awe. "All in- FORWARD!" 

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

Between Egypt and Canaan

Adventures in Pennsylvania this week: 

Took the boat out with my host family this past weekend. It is 75 degrees with a breeze off the water. I wore sweats – they wore swimsuits. The girls begged me to jump in with them. I stuck my toe in the Arctic water and ice formed as soon as I drew it out! Well, maybe not quite, but I have come to the conclusion that these people are part polar bear. Certainly, I am from the desert!

There are many hills here. Again, I am from the flat plains of New Mexico. I do not know how to drive up a hill – especially from a stopped position. After a few instances of whiplash, I think I am getting the hang of it. It is quite comical for other drivers I am sure… Mine is the only bright yellow license plate in the city - CAUTION.

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Driving to work in fog has been a new experience for me as well. When I awoke this week to see a blanket of white hiding the normally visible Penn State football stadium from my window, I was filled with excitement at the beautiful, new sight. However, as I backed my car out of the drive and started down the hill, new feelings set in. I had imagined that it would be like driving through a marshmallow cloud… (yes, I live in a fairytale world) but, it was not like that! The farther away I got from home, the denser the fog became. Soon I could only see the haze of the red taillights of the car in front of me.

Now I am uncomfortable… I turned on to University (a mess with construction) and was alone on the road. I could only see about a hundred feet in front of me. The road narrowed and caution signs appeared to notify me of the merging traffic and redirected lanes. Oncoming cars were only visible a couple seconds before they passed me – and that was only if they had their headlights on.

Normally, my drives to school in Texas consisted of sunglasses and the visor down… My fists were clenched and sweaty by the time I pulled in the parking lot of the office, relieved that my driving was done. It was an experience I care not have again, however the locals informed me it will become a daily routine from now until the end of October.

Arriving at the office, my team settled in for a morning of prayer and mediation in the Word. As a ministry and as individuals, all of us are going through a season of change and transition. Led by the Lord, we turned to Numbers 13. (Thank you Dannah and Eileen) 

In this Old Testament account, Moses sent scouts into the Promised Land to explore and check out the land that God was giving to Israel (v2). The land was just what God promised (23-24)! Note the giant grapes – so huge that two men had to carry a cluster on a pole held on their shoulders!! Those were some grapes! The men returned to Moses and declared, “It does flow with milk and honey! Here, look at the size of these grapes!” (HMB paraphrase 27). The promise of God had not only been fulfilled, it had been exceeded – the grapes were a bonus, a sign of His goodness and His promise to provide.

Verse 28 – That awful word is used here by some of the scouts… but the people are very large, but the walls are too thick, but it is strongly fortified. What?! Had God not just revealed His exceeding promise and faithfulness to them? Did He not just confirm His leading?!

We need more Caleb’s in this world.  In verse 30 he boldly and confidently ignores their but’s and says, “We need to go take possession of it.” Caleb knew that God had already given the land to the Israelites (v2). He took God at His word and knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

Yet, the people continued to complain and explain why they shouldn’t hold on to what God promised. …but we cant… v31.

I could imagine Caleb’s frustration. He looked upon the other scouts and the people and saw Warriors. Warriors capable of claiming what God promised. But, the people saw themselves as grasshoppers v33.

Chapter 14 is heartbreaking – the Israelites complain and weep to Moses and Aaron – they wished they were back in slavery in Egypt. Wow. I couldn’t imagine. True, in Egypt they had food and shelter, they knew what the future held and ultimately they knew they were protected in Egypt. Now, they were following an old man in circles through the desert. They lived in tents, hit rocks for water, lacked for food (enter manna), struggled for direction and longed for the “good old days.” At night I am sure through the thin walls of the tent they could hear the snoring of the fat guy next door and the incessant crying of a baby down the way. They were not living in the lap of luxury… they were living in limbo between Egypt and the Promised Land.

That’s where I am. Often, I am tempted to look back to Egypt: I was loved, beautiful, a bride, a teacher, the future was blossoming… But then catastrophe! (I know I still am those things in Him, but I would be lying if I said my confidence did not just take a direct hit) God said, “Heather, I want to use your pain to develop a ministry in which other girls will find healing.” Selfishly, I don’t want to help other girls find healing right now!! I want to have MY heart pieced back together, I want MY healing. The Lord is working out my selfish, toddler-like attitude... I am in time out a lot!  I am “living in a tent” between Egypt and my Promise, aware that I need to be careful about not looking back with longing for Egypt when God clearly took me out of there. 

I think sometimes God enjoys watching us in limbo! We seems to say "Daddy.." much more.

Back to my foggy car ride to work… sometimes God allows the fog of uncertainty to cloud our view. When objects are hidden from our sight, our faith (Hebrews 11) has an opportunity to grow. The Lord is in the car in front of us, promising to safely lead us to our destination in the land of Canaan. You may have to slow down a bit in the fog and keep extra watch on that oh-so-important yellow line, but you will be safe. Sometimes the “caution” signs that appear out of nowhere, are placed there by the enemy to scare or distract us… If God is driving the car in front of you, why bother look to the sides?

Rather than drive the car following His, sometimes it would be easier to just get out and lock myself in HIS trunk… but, then I have refused myself the opportunity to grow and to learn – and to be taught by God. Yes, Jesus could have wiped out all of giants in the land and allowed the Israelites to stroll on through, picking daises on the way. But, then we would not have the story of Caleb. The Lord wanted them to chose faith – to trust – to fight for the promises of God – to wait – to grow – to heal.

So, I will remain in my red sonata… slowly navigating through the fog of life. I will trust that God is driving the car in front of me, knowing that when the Son comes out, the haze will dissipate and I will be living in the fullness of the promise of God.

If you are driving in a cloud and it’s not quite the marshmallow fantasy you dreamed it would be, I pray for you the courage of Caleb. The fog always lifts (although some days I wonder)! Slow down, don’t be overwhelmed by the lack of visibility; God may be shielding your eyes from something dangerous or hurtful. Keep your eyes locked on His red taillights. This is where you have the great privilege of developing the faith.

May you and I both be able to say, “We should go take possession of the promise.” 

Do "Thankful"

Well, I am in Pennsylvania!  What a journey it has been! Never in a million years would I have imagined myself here! I have hit the ground running and am developing even more of a passion for this ministry. There have been a million new things I have already experienced! It is GREEN;  there is water everywhere you look; I saw a firefly; the thunder comes in gentle rolls across the hills; you can see the humidity here; I need a jacket; people have odd accents... and God is so GOOD. 

While I am here, I am living with a host family. Without a doubt, they are a precious, divine appointment. In addition to a mom and dad, I have acquired three little siblings: girls ages 6 and 4, and Bugga - 6 months. They are precious and love on me constantly. The noise level at 7am, however, is not yet something I am accustom to! 

Each night before the little ones go to bed, we do "Thankful." It is a quiet, reflective time where Mom and Dad say why they are thankful for one another and for the kids. Sisters give a specific reason why they are thankful for each another, and I get to pick anyone and declare my thankfulness for them! The evening concludes with Dad's prayer.  It is a blessing to watch the love and connectedness of this family, and the deep understanding and appreciation the girls have for one another. They bless my heart and have caused me to consider more deeply the things which I am thankful for: 

I am thankful to God for steering my ship with ease through what I perceived to be the most violent storm my little boat has ever experienced! 

I am thankful to the man who was in my life for a season; that he was honest with me prior to our wedding day, and that he respected my stand for purity. 

Mom and Dad, thank you for being my anchor, keeping me grounded in the Lord's promises and lifting my eyes Heavenward. 

Ky, I am thankful for your protection and fierce loyalty as well as your jovial spirit and heart of gold. 

My Pastors and church family…. I am overwhelmed by your love, support, encouragement and admonition. Thank you! 

Friends, I am thankful that you have forced me to get up and move forward and for the millions of times you willingly sang "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger…" 

Dannah and Pure Freedom - I am overwhelmed by the opportunity to be a part of what you do. Thank you for bringing me along side of you. 

Jackson puppy, thank you for licking my face and holding me close. I don't know what I would do without you little buddy… WOOF! 

My list could ramble on forever (and in my journal it does) but I will spare you! 

Have you heard the quote, ""What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today?" Convicting! We have been blessed with so very much. I know that I do not thank the Father near as much as I should and I often take things for granted.

<My four year old sister just came out to the deck to inform me that it is time for "Thankful"... excuse me for a moment> 

Anything from His daily dose of undeserved mercy to the sweet old lady who gave me a discount at the coffee shop, I seem to breeze over these blessings without a thought as if I am entitled. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Psalm 107:1 - Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His steadfast love endures forever! 

My new little sister's understanding of being thankful might even surpass my own. I challenge you, just as I have challenged myself, to pause and consider a day of Thanksgiving (minus the turkey and Dallas Cowboys). How it warms my heart to hear others enjoy and appreciate a gift I have given them! How much more is the heart of the Father warmed when we spend a day noticing and thanking Him for the blessings in our life? 

This week, do "Thankful."