Sometimes It's God

Do I have a valid reason for not keeping my blog active? NO. So, I won't even try to defend myself and just admit that I have avoided writing and have avoided God's tug at my heart with a vengeance. There is no explanation… I just finally had enough nights in the belly of the whale and here I sit, begrudgingly obedient:

I find myself in another season of trial. Two weeks ago I went in for a routine arthroscopy of my left knee. The surgery was successful and I was home the same day. Three days later is when the calf pain began. Tests showed a blood clot. Then the blood thinners. Then the clot was gone and we stopped all meds. I still felt terrible. CT scan showed the clot blew and I am now dealing with five pulmonary embolisms in my right lung. Tests will continue to determine the cause of it all. I have been married to Fireman for only ten months... (Boy, he had no idea what he was in for, did he?) 

He sat with me on the couch one night after a particularly long and difficult day at the doctor's office. "I am so tired of these attacks," he said. "Satan, you have no place in our home. You leave us alone in the name of Jesus." While I am thrilled that my husband spiritually leads and fights for our family, I was somewhat surprised at my own response to his prayer. "Sweetie, sometimes it's not the enemy… sometimes it's God." 

I sat and processed what I had just said. I was quickly reminded of the story of Jesus walking on water in Matthew 14. 

"Immediately (after He performed the miracle of feeding 5,000) He made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds." 
HE MADE them go. 
Kinda like when your mom MADE you wash your hands before dinner. Remember, it wasn't a choice - it was a command. There was no wiggle room for the disciples on this one. It would have made far more sense for the disciples to stay and dismiss the crowds and allow Jesus to escape, but noooo, Jesus always knows best (and often does the opposite of what makes sense to us.) He decided instead to dismiss the disciples from the miracle and send them on an adventure to the boat.

You'll recall the story. The boat ends up far from the shore and is beaten by the waves and wind working against them. This was no pleasure cruise. The disciples were all awake - all hands on deck - working to keep the boat moving the right way. Meanwhile, Jesus was up on a mountain, overlooking them, praying. I imagine He was praying for them. 

Sometimes the storm that you find yourself in is a God-SEND. Nope, that's not a typo. God was the one to SEND you into it. There is something He desires to grow in you. There is a part of your faith that wouldn't come alive if you were on the mountaintop. 

Often times, when bad or difficult situations come up in our lives, Christians are quick to blame them on the enemy. Caution: that's not always the case. Sure, the devil has tried to take elements of this trial and plant fear, doubt, miscommunication, etc. just to stir the pot. But, without a doubt, I am 100% confident that the Lord is the one who sent us in to this one. His presence has been so evident through it all. Never once have we felt abandoned. 

The disciples seemed to have the storm under control. Kinda like us, huh? We've got this! They were seasoned fishermen. They had worked the waves before; and by-golly, they were handling it just fine! Fear didn't sink in until they saw a ghostly figure approaching them in the darkest hour of the night. (Let me also point out once again - the terrifying ghostly figure wasn't Satan!) It was their LORD! When things get even darker and scarier, keep your faith. That's often where Jesus shows up. 

He tells them, "Take heart, it is I. Do not be afraid." The "it is I" is the same text found in Exodus 3 where the Lord tells Moses, "I am the I AM" In other words, "I will be what you need me to be." 

When Jesus walks on the water toward the boat is where we encounter the courageous story of Peter stepping out of the boat and walking on water with the Lord. GO, PETE!!! But then what happens next is the largest miracle of all to me:

Jesus gets in their boat. 

He got in the middle of their mess. In the middle of the storm. In the darkest part of the night. And peace is brought. 

Jesus is willing to climb into your boat too. Whatever your mess, whatever your struggle. Admit that you "don't got it" on your own. It tends to speed to process. He won't pass you by, deeming your mess too much for Him to handle. He is the I AM. Your Healer, Provider, Safety, Strength, Courage, Joy, Lover, Friend, Father, Teacher, Shepherd…. What do you need? He IS that for you. 

By an act of faith, recognize that sometimes He allows these tough things to come our way. 

I am confident the disciples got off that boat as changed men! The scripture tells us they recognized Jesus as, "truly the Son of God." They saw Him for who He really was. I am sure they had more than a few stories to tell! It's not every day you see a dude walking on the water… let's make that two dudes walking on the water. Oh, ya, and that crazy storm that stopped once Jesus' sandal touched the floor of that boat! You had bet the disciples were talking!  And, I'm pretty sure they were different men for having been in the boat that night. 

In exchange for the storm, God gives us a story.

I believe that some of you are in a God-SEND trial right now. Trust that He remains on the mountain interceding for you. You are never out of His sight. Trust that at just the right time, He will come to you. He will reveal Himself in a mighty way. And HE will climb into your boat and get you to the other side as a better and stronger version of yourself.  

If Jesus directed you into the storm, be confident that HE will get in your boat and steer you safely to your next destination. Hang on to your faith and quit blaming the enemy for the very thing that God is allowing to strengthen you and reveal Himself to you. Satan should never get that much credit…. Sometimes it's God.